Hello all,

Well its my last night in Sri Lanka. It seems like an age since I got here, yet the time has flown by. How odd.

Am staying in Negombo with Mark and a british couple that we met on the train. Its good to have some british backup when dealing with Mark's cutting edge humour (he still laughs every time he calls me Hugh Grant - so I have unfortunately sunk to his level and call him Skippy). We decided that the last two days we should push the boat out and stay in an air-conditioned apartment. In true Sri Lankan style they have tried but haven't succeeded; the air conditioning unit pumps the bathroom full of hot air when operating, making the bedroom a fridge and the bathroom a sauna. A refreshing mix.

Went to Colombo today and hit the shops. The chance to see T-Shirts that didn't have elephants on them was a breath of fresh air. My list of purchases is exhaustive and comprehensive and I even had to buy a bag to take them all home in. I think they are all fakes, but we shall see when I wash them and the stitching dissolves.

And now I leave this country and I will miss all sorts of things: Psychotic tuk-tuk drivers, mangy dogs, being called 'sir', sunsets, sunrises, locals assuming that your bags are filled with cash, curry for breakfast, locals answering any question they don't understand with 'yes', Lion Lager (which has the most formaldahyde in it of any beer apparently), the wobbly-head that means 'ok', families of five travelling on one motorbike, Sri Lankans employing four people to do one persons work, the people I have met and the climate. But I have missed everyone at home enormously and cannot wait for the next stage when I get four whole weeks with my beloved in Nice.

Hope you have enjoyed reading my ramblings, but if you excuse me I have one last sunset to watch. One last pint of formaldahyde please barman.

Neil.
- posted by Neil @ 5:27 AM

 
Sorry, just finished writing the last post and I remembered something that happened the other day that I thought you might find amusing.

Wherever you go here, and whatever you do, you usually have to sign a book. I don't why you have to do this but whenever you use the internet, visit a museum, pick up a leaflet or go to a guesthouse you have to sign in. After getting bored of writing my own name every single time I started to use celebrities names. Again, I don't know why I started this habit, but I did. Sorry.

The other day in Sigiriya I was on my way to use the pool of a 5* hotel (50p for the day) and I popped into the tourist office and picked up a local map. The usual request of signing the book followed. That day I used the name Nigel Mansell.

On the way back from the pool I passed the tourist offices and the three members of staff came running out, smiling excitedly saying 'are you the racing car driver?' - another tourist must have spotted the name and told them. It was easier to say 'yes' than it was to explain the unexplainable that I had lied about my identity. So I ended up signing four postcards (one for each of them and one to put on the wall of the tourist office) as 'the world famous racing driver, Nigel Mansell'. I left feeling slightly ashamed of what had happened on one hand, but on the other, I had just signed autographs for three people. Fame at last.

Neil.
- posted by Neil @ 6:48 AM

 
Hello all,

Sorry I haven't posted for a while - have been 'on the road' so lots to tell you. This may take some time so I trust you are sitting comfortably.

After dragging myself away from the hippy haven of Aragum Bay, I headed up the East coast. There was an election here yesterday, the run up to which created more security than usually seen, particularly on the East coast where those troublesome Tamil Tigers had previously got upto mischief. Despite the situation, Sri Lanka's march towards consumerism continues unhindered - demonstrated by the armed police roadblocks being sponsored by a local brand of toothpaste. Luckily the roadblocks don't cause any problems for tourists, who simply get a friendly smile and a wave of the Ak-47 when walking through.

When I got onto the bus I joined a bus-load of teenage armed police officers. There is something about getting on a bus of armed juveniles that makes me feel uneasy. This feeling of unease got worse as they started drinking arrack (local firewater) and proceeded to get rip-roaring drunk in time for lunch. After three uncomfortable hours of the more inibriated members of the group pretending to shoot each other with their guns and laughing like schoolkids I was happy to leave the armed kindergarten at Baticaloa.

After one night in Batticaloa I headed up to meet 9-fingered outback Mark at the 'cultural triangle' - a group of historical sights that should be more honestly labelled the 'tourist triange'. After three days travelling around this area I have been offered more carvings (out of wood, stone, coconut, metal and anything else you can wish for), silks, wallets, t-shirts and postcards imaginable. The general theme of these local crafts is elephants and masks and anything in between (including but not limited to masked elephants and elephant masks). The situation has been made worse by the election which means that tourism here has been quiet. This means that even just catching the eye of a local tradesman can cause a commotion of locals gathering around you trying to convince you that their carved elephant is much better than the identical one that their rival is selling. Despite the range of tat available I still have not found the nodding buddha that I have been looking for to put on my dashboard. The search continues.

The first stop in the tourist triangle was Pollonaruwa, which is a range of archaelogical sites dating back 1500 years. My interest in archaelogy is limited (Indiana Jones rather than Time Team) but I did find it quite interesting. The only down side to the day was that it was 38 degrees and we cycled around the sites. I have pictures of just how sweaty I got during the day that I will show to those that are interested.

After that it was off to Sigiriya, which is a fort built ontop of a massive stone megalith (or monolith - can't remember) which was very impressive. We (Mark and I) were staying with a Sri Lankan family who were excellent hosts. Both evenings we were there we played cricket with the (numberable) sons and daughters which was priceless. Even more priceless was seeing Mark (who is cricket mad) get bowled out by the owner's 12 year old daughter.

Last night we stayed in Pinnewala, where there is an elephant orphanage. We arrived hoping to see the elephants bathe and then leave (us leave, not the elephants), but due to the election there was a government curfew so the town closed down as soon as we got there. Luckily we found a bar that was open (or rather persuaded a bar to open) and proceeded to drink to the poor baby elephants that didn't have a mummy or daddy. Seeing the elephants this morning was great, although slightly marred by the cringingly sympathetic 'ahhhhh' that swept through the crowd when the first 1m tall very hairy elephant emerged.

With only five days left of the trip I have decided to head back to the beach, so am in Hikkaduwa on the West coast, where I shall try surfing one more time. The waves here aren't as daunting as Aragum and so the chances of losing watches and clothing are smaller. Here for two days and then I am going to hit the shops. Things are so cheap here I may as well stock up (don't worry its not all sarongs and sandals) before flying out on Friday.

Will try to get another post in before I leave. Hope everyone is missing me, although I suspect not.

Take care,
Neil.

- posted by Neil @ 5:56 AM

 
Hello,

Well I have been in Aragum Bay now for three days and it is easy to see why people stay here for a longer period than planned. The guesthouse I am staying in is run by a 'collective' of about 5 hippies from around the world, it is a VERY laid-back place and several of the guests arrived up to three months ago and have yet to leave. The sheer horror of the journey to get here and the fact that when you leave you have to go through it all again means developing the motivation to move on is difficult. However, I am going to force myself to leave tomorrow as time is now of the essence and I have a few more things that I would like to see.

Should my surfing attempt have proved more succesfull I may have chosen to stay longer. I have been having recurring dreams recently in which I cleanly surf an enormous wave before returning to shore receive 'best surfer ever' award from the local dignitary. I thought this would be a sign of my abiity. The reality was very different. The waves here are big and perhaps I was biting off more than I could chew by attempting them, as well as the size there is a reef that lies a matter of inches beneath the surface just to add an extra dimension of fear. After four failed attempts to actually make it past the breaking waves (including a couple of surfboard headbutts) I made it out into the open water. I waited for a suitably big wave to approach and pointed the board towards the shore, I started to move but realised things were going badly when I realised the surfboard was vertical and was continuing to rotate. The resulting minute and a half is blurry, but when I finally got washed up some time later I had my swimming shorts down round my ankles, had lost my watch and had bleeding feet and knees due to the 50 metres of coral I had been dragged across. But at least I tried.

So having cracked surfing, this afternoon I am off to try and see some elephants in the wild. The only elephant I have seen so far was chained up outside the temple of the tooth, and was trained to go up on its hind legs. They were charging $10 for a picture with the posing elephant. Nature at its most pure.

Hope you are all well, more soon.
Neil.
- posted by Neil @ 9:57 PM

 
Hello everyone,

Since my last post lots has happened. Let me think.

Went to temple of the tooth after I wrote last. It was crap. More buddha statues. Although I have yet to work out what a buddha looks like (other than the artists impressions carved everywhere) and these physical relics of a spirtual being intrigue me, so wanting to see what state the 'tooth' was in (capped, fillings?) I went in. Unfortunately the tooth is contained within a russian-doll style system of caskets, so couldn't see it. Bugger.

After Kandy went to Nura Eliya (Noo-Rel-Y-aa for phonetic fans) which is an old colonial ranch that has turned into a market town. Met up with Norm again who carried with him a guy called Mark, a 9-fingered Aussie outback drill operator. (what is it about me and middle aged Australians?) nice bloke, drinks lots of beer. LOTS of beer. I didn't want to spend too long with him as he has had more work accidents than I would have thought possible (5 trips in the flying doctors plane to date). He is the only person I have ever met who can describe crawling through the burning wreckage of a plane crash that he was in as 'not too bad really' - he has burns over 42% of his body as a result. As with previous people I have met I tried to relate my similar stories with him. Even my story about the paper-cut of '02 seemed to be dwarfed in comparison.

So, Norm, Mark and myself descended on Noo-Rel-Y-aa's golf course for a sophisticated afternoon. Each of us was issued caddies (mine smelt of Arack - the local coconut spirit here) and we ventured onto the first hole. Luckily Norm's little joke about me working for Golfing Monthly failed to work; either due to Norm's accent or the phone operator's english the booking was under "Golfing Neil" which couldn't be more inaccurate.

Luckily my opponents were as bad as I was. After the first hole we were all downgraded to the beginner tees. Although despite this one particular tee was postioned right by the local market, and I now know the pressure of an audience. Lots of locals stopped on the street to watch the strange white people hit the solid egg with a stick, and after our shots we found ourselves trying to explain to them that we were playing a variation of the game which involved hitting the ball as far into the trees as possible. I think they fell for it.

That night we went to the Hill Club, the origial gentlemans club in Sri Lanka. This is the last bastion of British Colonialism, although it has turned into a parody of what it is supposed to be. Obviously not having taken smart clothes, the five of us (a Swiss couple that I met on the train joined us) had to be supplied in jackets and tie. The selection that they had was hilarious, and we all selected the most garish 60's outfits that we could (I tied my tie particularly short and turned the collar up of my jacket for a school-uniform look). We got to the dining room and there was actually some old colonels who had no doubt gained life membership in '53 and have been back every year. I don't know what they thought of the international group of people in fancy dress who walked in for dinner, but nothing was said to us. Inside they had a price list for the British to hunt in these areas. A leopard cost 5 shillings but an elephant was free. Well, anyone can hit an elephant.

Then went off with Norm, Mark and Lee (you guessed it, a middle aged Aussie) went off to Adam's peak. At the peak of Adam's Peak (?) there is a footprint of a buddha. Another chance to gain valuable insight into what a buddha looks like. Adam's Peak is a pilgrimage and is very popular, and it basically consists of 7km of steps, then you reach the peak, and they you take 7km of steps down again. Doing the maths I worked out this was like doing around 5000 flights of stairs up, and 5000 down. It really hurt. Although when finally reaching the summit, I wandered into the temple itching to see the size of the footprint, but again, it was hidden. What is it with Buddhism and hiding the evidence?

So after Adam's peak made my way to Arugam Bay, where I am now. The journey was too long to do in one day, so stopped in Badulla last night. You may know that I have been the victim of crime quite regularly at home, it would have been niaive of me to think that this run of bad luck would limit itself to UK shores. And I was proved right. I was the only one staying in the guest house and went down for some dinner at about 8pm, the lad who had shown me to my room and served me dinner seemed nice enough, I gave him a cigarette although turned down his request to tip him. After eating (quickly - as I do) I returned to my room. When I unlocked the door and walked in I saw some movement out of the bathroom. Upon investigation I find the employee of the guesthouse, looking extremely sheepish, hiding behind the bathroom door. Luckily my experience has taught me that I take all essentials with me and hide all valuables within the room, so nothing was taken. But after frog-marching the young lad (who was now in tears begging me not to tell the boss) to the desk and shouting a lot I declined the invitaiton of the owner to stay in another room as you never know how high the corruption goes. So that was last night. Interesting.

Now in Aragum bay, and it is lovely, and I might try to learn to surf here, although everyone seems to be really good and I may just kick back and talk about 'pipes' and 'swells' and not entering the water, where I will make a fool of myself. But we shall see.

I've finished; get back to something more productive.
Miss you all.
Neil.

- posted by Neil @ 2:51 AM

 
Hello,

Well you find me still in Kandy, where I have been for the last five days. I have really enjoyed it here. My initial attempts at slumming it lasted longer than I thought they would, I lasted three nights on The World's Most Uncomfortable Bed (a 2cm thick mattress made out of coconut husk on a wooden bed that is 5 feet long) before deciding to upgrade. Was sharing a room with a 19-year-old gap year student called Adam. However, staying at the hostel I have met lots of interesting people, a real mix of characters, including:
- German weightlifter who screamed like a girl when he saw a spider - most amusing
- Annoying 47-year old American women in a mid-life 'transition' (not a crisis, OK) who managed to talk about herself, solidly, without interuption, in front of 10 people for an hour before people started making excuses about imaginary things to do so they could escape her. She's writing a book, its all about her life. Will be sure to pick that one up.
- Lots of nice Israeli people (the women are nightmares though)
- Gap year students x 3

Also bumped into Norm (52-year old sunburnt ozzie) again, who had discovered a real gem of a guesthouse, so decided to move as did my room-mate Adam. The guesthouse is someone's house who is currently in Australia and there is a butler called Ravi who waits on us. There are pictures of the owner with various important people dotted around the building. Very civilised. It even has hot water - a real novelty. Although the control of this hot water includes two settings: hot and cold. And the hot is impossible to use without losing skin.

Have been on various excursions from Kandy, including a botanical gardens that put Kew to shame, on the way to which the bus was stuck in a bit of a traffic jam caused by an elephant being ridden down the road. Which was nice. Am off to the 'temple of the tooth' today which allegedly contains the tooth of a Buddha. Was talking to a lad about buddhism the other day, apparently they already know the name of the next Buddha that is coming (there have been 23 so far), his name will be Michael. Judging by the statues he will be an odd looking bloke when he does come.

Tomorrow I leave to go to Nuwara Eliya to play a round of golf with Norm. He has booked it under my name and has told them that I work for Golfing Monthly and would like to review the course. Thanks Norm. I only hope this doesn't mean the manager/owner will want to do a round with me, as I'm sure the lie will become exposed by the time I lose my 4th ball on the first hole. Apparently the golf course is spectacular, and even better than the golf course in Wandsworth that I usually go to.

Am feeling fairly at ease with the Sri Lankan way of life, but there are certain things that I am struggling with. Primarily that this is a country of unnecessary noise. It is very rare to sleep through the night due to the constant use of horns by traffic (which are used to signal thankyou, get out of the way, hello, goodbye, I'm overtaking you and many other emotions and actions) regardless of the time of day or night, also the large number of stray dogs wait until 3am before starting their 2-hour territorial disputes, usually ending in a massive gang-war. By which time the buddhist temple starts pumping out its meditation drums through the speakers that are located on every street corner. And can I find ear plugs anywhere? Don't be silly.

Today is market day in Kandy, and the entire high street is lined with people selling a bizarre mix of items. One entrepeneur had a big box of safety pins which seemed to be going down a storm with the locals. If anyone needs any let me know and I will pick some up for you.

Must dash, have to phone home and wish mum a happy mothers day (aren't I a good son).
Neil.
- posted by Neil @ 10:59 PM

 
Hi all, it's been a while and I've actually done some stuff rather than sitting on the beach, so lots to go through. Bear with me while I go through the last few days.

Well after being determined to get myself off the beach and inland to do something different, I visited Mirissa, which is even nicer than the other beaches I have seen, so I decided to stay there for two days. Stayed in a cottage set in the forest, with monitor lizards wandering around looking like something from Jurassic Park. Met a couple who have been travelling for 15 years. 15 years! I tried to find out what they did to fund such a lifestyle, but it was impossible to get through the tales about trips to various parts of the world to find out any real depth to them. But I suppose such is the nature of the long-term traveller. I would have wowed them with stories of London Underground, Brixton and Nice, but they seemed a bit tame as another story about lepers in Honduras was reeled off by the pro travellers.

So when I did leave Mirissa, I decided to go-local and got onto a government bus up to a National Park inland. It was a horrible journey. It started off well; for the first hour I had a double seat to myself. The driving was a bit scary, but it was ok. The experience changed at the first major town we stopped at where about 150 people got onto the bus. This was fine as I had a seat, however a young lady with her two year old son sat next to me. The young lady asked me for some water for her son; being a good soul I obliged. Her son then threw up all over himself, spraying me in the process. I believe that dealing with stranger's vomit shows strength of character. Despite my light misting I thought I did quite well (ten minutes with my head out of the window breathing slowly stopped me following the boys lead), however one guy who got a full blast all over his hand didn't even flinch; fair play. Needless to say I didn't offer him any of my crisps.

So I arrived in Sinharaja National Park, which is a rainforest. I spent two nights at a guesthouse with the world's keenest guide. He has been doing the same tour every day for 19 years and he acts as if it is his first day showing people. An inspirational bloke. He also had super-human eyesight, being able to spot a monkey or lizard from 200 yards, while all I could see was lots and lots of leaves. Although to be fair I spent the majority of the trip looking down at my shoes to scrape off the hoards of leeches that were permanently trying to clamber towards my ankles. Regardless of the amount of salt I poured over my shoes they were determined. I thought I had done quite well with only 1 getting through the salty-security, but the last hour of the walk was in torrential rain - which eventually turned the path we were walking on into a 8 inch deep river, which allowed 7 of the little critters to gorge themselves. Due to my leeches experience I have now made myself an Official Intrepid Jungle Explorer (childhood dream #18: Completed)

So after that onto the bus once again for a much more vomit-free journey. I was sitting next to a buddhist monk for most of the journey (monk-fact: Buddhist monks carry little orange hankies that match their robes - does this mean they wear orange underwear?) and up to Kandy, where I am now.

When I arrived this morning I decided to slum it and have checked into a proper backpacker hostel. Very cheap but when I first arrived the guy who I am sharing a room with spotted a spider that was about the size of my head. As you can imagine I have set up a grade-5 security system around my bed using a mosquito net and some blankets. Certainly don't want one of them crawling across my face during the night. So it remains to be seen how long I stay here (and indeed how long I 'slum' it for - the call of rooms to myself is already strong and I have only spent an hour there). But I will keep you posted regardless.

Take care,
Neil.


- posted by Neil @ 10:38 PM

 
Hello to both of you,

I have been doing next-to-nothing for the last five days (no comments of 'no change there' from work colleagues please) in Unawatuna apart from manic sunbathing interspersed with frantic reading and eating. Life is busy as you can imagine.

However I have now got into the feel of the island and the pace of life so think it's time to go somewhere completely different. So I'm of to another beach down the road. But only for a day before I head to a national park to get taken on a wildlife trek (7 hours - I did ask if I could break it down into three more managable chunks, but it wasn't an option). Their advice was to bring salt for the leeches. Mmmmm. Salty leeches.

Went to the cricket the other day, was sitting with a load of Australians who were their usual 'boistrous' selves. That is until they were all out for 227 - ha ha ha. Had trouble keeping my exuberance under control. Only the threat of a battering with an inflatable wallabie stopped me.

Having now been here a week the consistent attempts by the locals to get more money out of you is beginning to get tiring. Don't get me wrong, it isn't aggressive in any way, but here everybody says hello to you, and 90% of those have some sort of idea of how to get some backhander out of some business owner by leading you to them. This morning I am in Galle, a fairly large town and I was looking for an internet cafe, this chap walks up beside me and asks how I am. My suspicion was raised but I thought that there is no way I could get ripped off when I'm looking for an internet booth. He said he knew the fastest internet connection in town (which is quite appealing when most places are connected via yoghurt pots and string), so we walk, and we walk, and we walk. Twenty minutes later we eventually get to a jewellery shop. Actually it wasn't even a shop it was a shed. I doubt it had electricity. So the 'helpful' guide babbles something to the chap with one leg sitting in the shed and turns to me and says "Internet not working, do you want to buy some jewellery" &*%$! As you can imagine I now approach everything with renewed suspicion.

Went to see some stilt fisherman the other day. This is a centuries-old traditional way of fishing that has remained unchanged for generations. It involves (surprisingly) fisherman sitting on stilts for hours at a time waiting for a bite. I got my camera out to take a picture of one of them and his 'agent' approached me and asked me for 100 rupees to take a picture of them. Bloody hell. The illusion was shattered further when the stilt-fisherman's mobile phone went off, although I was assured by the agent it was a traditional mobile phone, one that wouldn't be changed for generations.

So you see with all this scam-avoidance life is tiring. Time for lunch I think. Hope everyone is well.

Take care,
Neil.
- posted by Neil @ 9:58 PM

 
Me again.

I think its been about 3 days since I last posted, which seems like weeks ago, so will scour my brains to keep this diary up to date on happenings.

Last time I was in Bentota, where I met an extremely sunburnt 52 year old Australian called Norm. That's right, like the Cheers character. He is in the country following the Australian cricket tour and arrived without having read anything about the country at all. Inevitably he has fallen for every scam under the sun, including a $80 tuk-tuk ride and a collection of gems that he alleges can be resold at home for thousands of dollars. Hmmmm. But he is a fairly relaxed bloke (as all Australians are) using such terms like 'cruisey' to describe things.

So travelled down by train (with Norm) to Unawatuna on the South coast, which is fantastic. The train journey itself was quite different to the British Rail experience, and although not as busy as the rush hour ones we saw go past with people on the roof & hanging from the doors, I was surprised to see a family move house by train, which meant everyone getting off, helping them load all of their posessions that filled a carriage, and then resuming the journey. I think its a great idea, and would make any house move both inexpensive and stress-free.

The place we are staying has a terrace about 1 metre from the shore-line and you can eat on tables on the beach, meaning you have the waves lapping at your feet while you eat at the restaurant. Being a practical sort, I asked what happens if there is a storm. Their response was 'storm means restaurant ged vely wet.' Glad I cleared that up.

Have decided to stay here for a week and work on my tan. Have had to upgrade my sun lotion for something a bit more potent than the factor 15 I brought with me, so have hit the sun loungers hard this morning with a four hour session - it seems to have worked, not feeling burnt (yet). The breeze here means it is just about possible to stay outside for a prolonged period of time.

I have now worked out how Indian fakirs manage to walk on coals; it is just like walking on the concrete here at 2pm - I have burnt the soles of my feet walking to this internet cafe and ended up running here to minimise contact. As you can imagine running in this heat has made me a welcome sweaty addition to the crowded quarters of the internet cafe.

David Beckham persistently still enters my conversations with locals. Even saw a Sri Lankan with a David Beckham shirt.

The first Australia vs Sri Lanka test is tomorrow so am off to watch some of it. Sri Lankans are obsessed with cricket (even more so than about DB) and it is what all of the locals are talking about. Hopefully I won't be sat directly in the sun, as I've seen what a day of that has done to Norm.

Anyway, take care all, speak soon.
Neil.
- posted by Neil @ 12:43 AM

 
Well I've arrived.

The last two days seems like an eternity and it all feels slightly surreal, but I will talk you through what has happened.

However, firstly an apology to those of you who have been travelling to a developing-world country before; I will be going into detail about the things that have surprised &/or shocked me. Feel free to tut and make comparitive statements to yourself such as "I bet its not as bad as in Thailand / Africa / India / Stockwell"

Well the flight went ok - but my illusions of Kuwait airways being a sleak operation that would be built on the service of transporting mega-rich sheiks around the world was shattered. They were crap. None of the TVs worked, I've had more legroom on Easyjet and there was no booze. They cited religious reasons but I'm sure it was just to save them money.

I arrived at Colombo airport and was immediately made aware of the Sri Lankan pace of life: they took an hour to get our bags off the plane. I was convinced that I would be looking like tramp for the next three days (a look that I had already attained by pouring a whole cup of coffee over my groin while on the flight).

Decided to get a bus to Colombo - the capital city, about 50km from the airport. I was directed to the bus stop that was by a burnt out bus. Nice. It turned out the burnt-out bus was the one that was taking us to Colombo (albeit with new seats etc). So my initial plan to stay in Colombo for a day was changed as soon as I got there. Chaos, pollution & people which was not the reason I came, so headed a bit further south where I stayed in a guesthouse run by a couple who had 15 rooms but no guests (other than me).

After powernapping for a bit I decided to hit the beach, where I was immediately offered a lovely beachside seat and a cold beer. The young gentleman serving me was insistent that I gave him my address, which I was reluctant to do - I have heard horror storie's about people just turng up on your door looking for you(Roger, if you ever have someone knocking on your door asking for Neil, turn them away for us, cheers).

That evening I decided to go a bit posh and went the 5* Mount Lavinia hotel, and sat on a veranda overlooking the sea with lots and lots of honeymoon couples (obviously not at the same table). Even in a 5star hotel a beer is only 1 pound. Brilliant. I could get used to this colonial attitude, everyone calls you sir. I may demand it once I return home.

I have been here two days and eight Sri Lankans have raised the subject of David Beckham. This will wind me up if it continues. Although the temptation to say I am related to him is ever present. Although this lie will be quickly uncovered if any of them put a football at my feet.

Also despite my initial thoughts that I wouldn't be able to get sick of curry, it will definitely happen at some point. Yesterday I went into a roadside cafe and ordered a lunch and they came out with a tray of rice and 11 little bowls of different curries. All for about 80p.

So to today, I got a train down to Bentota (as I fully expect everyone reading this to have a map in front of them - its on the south-west coast) and have decided that the luxury option is something that I definitely want to persue, so I have checked into a lovely hotel with my own cabin and en-suite for 20 us dollars. But what the hell. Graham, your hammock is a lifesaver, I have strung it out across the central quadrant just to rub it in the nose of the 20 or so Germans surrounding it lying on their wooden benchs. Get up as early as you like fellas, you ain't bagsing this one.

Which neatly finishes where I am - back to the hammock. More soon.
- posted by Neil @ 1:45 AM